61 years ago...

61 years ago on November 20th, I was born in a little town of Safford AZ, seven weeks early because my mother, while visiting her parents, was going to have twins. Up until 2 weeks before Joan and I was born our heart beat together as one, strong and steady. My mother had become huge but thought it was going to be just a big baby, it was her third pregnancy. Dad was in California looking for work and learned of our birth over the phone, he wrote about the conversation with my mom in his journal. What a brave woman my mother was, having her third and forth kids with no hubby around. My mom was the youngest in her family so thank heavens her parents were still around to offer support and a place to go after, Joan and I was born.

Throughout my life people have asked me, "what is it like being a twin?" My answer has always been I loves it! Joan was my best friend! I saw my sister a brave, outgoing and willing to take a risk kind of person. I was more cautious, timid, and wanted to stay between the lines type. Sometime we would fight but not very often, we had the ability to just get along. Joannie pretty much tried and did everything first, walked, rode a bike, dated, got married and had babies before I did. I loved being with her. I would go through anything to see her or talk to her in person or on the phone. it was the happiest day and saddest day in my life when she got married. Her marriage took her all over the world. I didn't get to be with her when she had her first baby, but she didn't get to be with me when I got married. When we had our big families living at home and we had a short opportunity to live near each other, many of our memories were with our families being together, we would go through just about anything with our eleven children so we could be together. we shared, clothes, hand-me-downs, recipes, books we were reading, insights, comfort when days were rough.

I spend a lot of time being the third wheel with Joannie and her husband, Louis, we made some great memories together. I don't recall times when Joan got to be a third wheel, I guess it was just the way life was and it's situation. As we have moved along life's path we have had different experience and heartaches in our lives. I have become aware that our twinhood has been more difficult for Joan throughout our lives. It has been the saddest time of my life the last few years. Joan and I have drifted apart. things have been said, feeling have be hurt about things that just don't want to be talked about. You know, all our married lives have been filled with miles of being apart. My sister and I over the last 41 years have had 3 times in our live that we have lived near each other. Six year ago I moved nearby and we have never been so far apart. What I have learned? Is miles can be as far or as close depending on who is driving and sometimes you think that your more important to someone else than they think you are. All I know is that there is a hole in my heart that can't seem to be filled. It's like the hole that was left when my mother passed away. Forgiveness has been forgiven. Are things different? yes. Joannie will always be part of my soul and my eternal person. we have a connection that God only knows about. I know it will be revealed someday to both of us. May the future become a little brighter for our relationship. I love you, Joannie, Happy Birthday!

How Blessed I am...

Today Janel, Pat and my oldest daughter, with her husband Dave brought home her 5th child... Linkin Gary Christofferson. It's number 17 in the grandchild department. Just 3 month ago Our youngest son, David and his wife, Ally, brought home their 1st little girl, Edyn Liza Jean Nugent, that make 2 for them a "Z" and "E". Then a little over 4 months ago, our son Joseph and his wife, Laurie. had their 4th baby, JP (James Patrick Aaron Nugent), a son, their first little boy. Pat and I have 11 beautiful granddaughters and 6 handsome grandsons...How very Blessed we are!!!!! Nothing really matter when you look at all of them... smelling that sweet brand new baby smell or watching bundle of energy spin and dance to the 12 dancing princesses. words can't be expressed enough on the Joy they all bring. I missed them when I don't see them enough. Scott brought and surprise us last labor day weekend with his gang of girls. I couldn't get over having them here and getting to talk to them and hug and kiss them. What a wonderful gift.

I think how difficult it was at times when I was busy raising my children and how it felt like it was only Yesterday. Watching my children raise their children is priceless and it leave a deep impression upon my heart with gratitude. I want to thank each one of you for surviving me and I continue to watch with amazement and appreciation on how you all do so well with your parenting. I love each one of you so very much. May the Lord bless you with your children as much as He has blessed me with you.

Looking Back For a Moment...Looking Forward For Now...

I know I haven't written in my blog for a long time but it ok because the people who read it and leave a message I talk to about everyday anyway. Last Tuesday, July 15th we close the door to our house in South Jordan. It was a beautiful house. We lived there just short of 6 years, we moved more to the south. we are a little more out into the country, a little further from my work, but my favorite part is we are closer to our children that live here in Utah. I hope they all think it grand as much as pat and i do. we still live on the west side of the valley hearing the trains go by, I love it. I walk with the farm animals in the morning. it takes me a little longer to get to work but that seem ok to me. over the last 3 months I have never cried so much. Pat did most of the packing. He finally got into when I told him this was his job for the next few months and he would get paid at the end. we dejunked and gave away stuff and sold a few things and the conclusion is we still have too much stuff. My girls and their hunbands took there weekends to load up boxes and lifted up box and unload boxes. I can't thank them enough. During all this box stuffing. 2 of my Daughter-in-law gave birth new babies. Joe and Laurie had a sweet boy and David and Allyson had there sweet pink little girl. I know I haven't been much help to either family. I have notice that our new home is taking shape. Pat and I have alot to do still. But one box @ a time. it a simple sweet house it got a nice spirit about it. the boxes are coming so slow because I work all the time. most of what i get done i do on the weekend. I learned the other day. We experience some fear in anything we do.it is when you stop forward you lose Faith. Faith can be maintained even with fear as long as we are moving forward and get through what is hard at the time. I thought I would never move again when I came to Utah but alas no one know my history except my family and my friends in Sunnyvale. I have made so great new friends along the way, but they weren't with me when I raised my family. So I always go back to what I loved the best. My friends in Sunnyvale. I will grow where I am planted, I always do. but that special knowledge that a friend knows all about you and they saw that you grew up with your family, they know your history, it's unique and you would understand it if you have experienced it. I love that I am closer to my children and their kids, my darling grand children, I get to see my dad more often. I am given my self, to get things straigthen out, until September. so, maybe I can help with the next grandkid that coming! I will miss my beautiful house but I can't take it with me.

I feel peaceful about the way it has work out. Don't know why, as of yet, why we are here but time will tell.

Mother's Day

Well this week is Mother's Day. You know this special day has not been around very long. It not as old as the 4th of July or Christmas. It is usually on Sunday. We are honored at church with a piece of chocolate, or a flower or maybe a pamphlet discussing the important of Mothers. We all have mothers or had a mother and I glad about that. I would hate to think we can from a plant or the ocean. I have always consider that all women are nurturer that play a important roll, good or bad for mankind. My mother wasn't famous or had a high visible job in this world but she was one of the most graces people I have every know. I understand she was pretty high spirited when she was a young women and maybe a little bit of a tom-boy, but as I reflect upon her while she raised me. She spoke most of the time in gentle even tones. She cooked simple good food and well balance meals even when we were poor. She raised me to know the important things in life, loving the Lord, the power of prayer and excepting where you were with peace and without judgment and then prayed contently for you to get your head on straight. She was great listener and teacher. She gave me advise when I asked her and knew what to do for just about anything. She didn't like working in the yard she thought that was men's work but she could sew about anything, paint, teach and make any thing look beautiful. She was smart with numbers and spelling and she knew her children very well. Later her grandchildren. My mother was always happy to see me. When we both got older I made it a practice to come see her close to mother's day and her birthday. In the spring and then llate fall. We would to women's conference, shopping and sit and talk. I value those times. She stayed up with me pretty well, until she got sick and then she would come with me and we would find her somewhere she could sit and watch what was going on. I miss her still very much she has been gone for over 10 years. She died way to young and the older I get I realize how very young she was. My regret is, I didn't include her enough when she could do thing more easily. I look at my hands now and I see my mother's hand. My face reminds me of my mother's face. I am so grateful she wasn't bad looking! I hope I can pass on to my family a little of what she gave to me! She was my example of beautiful women inside and out. Love you, Mom!

Tulip Festival, Ha!

Last weekend I and some of my friends went to the "Tulip Festival" at Thanksgiving Point. I was looking forward to it for two reason: one to be outside because this winter has been way too long, and get to see beautiful stuff and two to walk and talk with friends. When we arrived the sun was shining and the line was short, hurray! There was a big posted sign behind the counter that said, "Bloomfest 25%, well what in the ...does that mean. We set outside anticipating the view of color and roll green hills and I knew it was going to be beautiful because I went last year. As we walk down the well groom path of brick and stone I noticed alot of green grass and green stems but no flowers, oh you would get a flower here and there but not much more. There was no leaves or buds in the trees either. As the path began to wind around the word "Bloomfest" 25% came to my mind. I stopped one of the bend over gardners and asked him what did it mean. He answer with a little chuckle that only 25% of the blossum are blooming because mother nature has been so cold for so long lately! Well, I and my friends stop strolling and with the wind beginning to blow, blow, blow we headed right to the luncheon room. We decided that we could handle eating outside because the building would block us from the wind. But by the time we has order our salads and fill our water glasses, we watch tables, dishes, napkins being blown off the patio. Our table decided that we need to keep water in our glasses and dressing on our salad or the leave of the salad and the cups wouldn't blow away. We had laughing good time trying talk and hold on to our food. I was grateful that the wind was on the warm side and that I didn't give a care about my hair. After I said good bye to my friends I sat out on a bench in front of the building of the garden lobby waiting for my daughter to pick me up and watching people running in holding on to their sun hats and cameras having big smiles on their faces to see the tulips in bloom. I sat quietly but in my head I was shouting "there is only 25% of nothing to look at" but the cost, was pricey but I got to be with my friends. I thought I would put some photos of the tulip festival from last year just to make my blog a little more interesting.

Road Trip!

Two weeks ago. My Daughters and I went on a Road Trip!! The main purposes was to get away from our regular lives and be together. We included a wedding of a old family friend in California and seeing Bryce Canyon for the 1st time. I took an extra day off on the front and back end of our trip so getting ready and unpacking was no big deal. We left in the afternoon on Thursday so Janel and Amy could have their family be taken care of and it would co inside with their husbands schedule. We made it to Las Vegas the 1st night. We each took turn driving on the trip so we all drove about 3 & 1/2 hours each way. Each of us brought car food and we ate, talked, and listened to music all the way there. I had so much fun being with these amazing women. They are both so smart, funny and fun to be with. It was so nice being in warm weather. I was "ah struck" by how my girls adapted to doing 12 flower arrangements and a bridle bouquet when we arrived in Ridgecrest. They hustle for 5 hrs. worked hard, maintain fun attitude and did amazing work. I feel so lucky to have such talent helping me. We made time to find Thirty ice cream @ the Rite Aid drug store. The the chocolate malted crunch was as good as I remember when we as family would go have ice cream for 25 cent a scoop in Sunnyvale. It was nice to see my friend, Anita, marrying a great guy. The afternoon following the reception we took off to Vegas again. Janel and Amy were great at getting us around on the freeways there and we made sure we got a In and Out Burger. I love their burgers but the fries need some help. We took our time getting up and watched the 1st session of General Conference and be a witness to the new prophet being sustained. We got on the road to Saint George I really like that town. The weather is the best except when you are in California. We stop to fill our car up with gas and it was the 1st time I have every pull up to the pump and they had no gas left! Really no gas! we had to go further into town to find a gas station with fuel to sell. We got to Cannonville around 6:30 in the evening and Cherie Scoffield was walking down the street to met us. It was great to see her and Bill. We had the best time. They showed us Bryce Canyon and it was beautiful. Bill is a great guide but I love hearing stuff like that and he reminds me of my dad they are both great story tellers! Their bed were comfortable and company was even better. As I get older I have more gratitude for the time with people you like. I loved being with Janel and Amy and see them in action as graces, beautiful, capable, and caring women. Seeing old friends that know your history. Would I do it again? Yes, in a heart beat!

Valentine Dinner with my Children...

I know it been awhile since Valentine's Day but, I have a minute so I thought I would write about what I got to do for my family who lives here in Utah. I made an invitation to each of my children and their sponses to join Pat and I to a special Dinner just for them without their children. It was so fun I made favors and dishes they you would only find in a restaurant. Pat and I prepared each plate and served it to them with each course there were 5 different ones. We had balloons and everything was done in red, white and black. We actually ate in the dinning room! We all had so much fun visiting together. I love seeing how my children have become such fabulous adults and they are all married to wonderful people. It was great evening !